All Dressed In Black Black Black

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This has nothing to do with the movie so really it's apropos of nothing, which makes it the perfect thing for me to begin this review with, since I am me and I live apropos of nothing, but right now as I sat down - well I was already sitting, so never-mind, as I sat and decided to begin this review, not coming from a standing position at all, I was suddenly overwhelmed by the kiddie song "Mary Mack" out of nowhere. I hadn't thought of "Mary Mack" in years and years and I certainly didn't think of it while watching The Woman In Black, but I thought of it right now, already sitting and starting this review, so here we are, talking about "Mary Mack." All dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back. It's as good a place to start as any, right? Right? hello? Anybody still here?

So there is a woman wearing black in The Woman In Black, thankfully, but we never do get a good look-see if she's wearing silver buttons down her back (back back), which is unfortunate. What is not unfortunate is golly this movie was good! A good ol' fashioned creeper with at least thirty full minutes of Danny Radcliffe walking around holding candles and following the strange sounds in distant creaky rooms of Ye Olde Haunted House. At least. I think there are sequences that are literally him doing this like four or five times in a row - he hears a noise at one end of the house, races to investigate, gets there, there's a little scare or a big scare, depending on how far into the movie we are, and then whoosh he's chasing another thunk to the other end of the house, rinse repeat. 

That might sound like I am complaining, but only if you don't know me. Or anything! That's awesome! We love that. The atmosphere is thick with mildew and well-coiffed cobwebbery, and lil' Danny's giving it all with his big watery eyes at every moment. He makes for a terrific boy-man Deborah Kerr. There's even an effectively morbid collection of old-fashioned dolls and toys, which I was just bitching about not being scary the other day with my review of the TV show The River - and yet they made them work here.

I mean sure I did get a little lost at one point where I started contemplating who the hell was lighting all these candles he kept finding already lit around the house, but then the little kids started setting themselves on fire or whatever and I was pulled back in. I mean, you know what's creepy? Child murder. I mean I hope you knew that already, but just in case, now you do! 

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