So who watched The River? I know its ratings weren't great so the answer's probably "Nobody!" I only got around to it last night, and forgive me Kretschmann but I thought it was pretty terrible. All over the place with the stealing from Lost and Paranormal Activity with no nuance to it - you're just not allowed to do black smoke rumbling through palm trees! God! - and the "found footage" aspect of it was poorly done to the point of distraction - as hard as they try to force it, there are about a thousand moments where a camera capturing a moment makes absolutely no sense at all.
It had a couple of moments that sort of creeped me out - any time any where you make a bug crawl in somebody's sleeping mouth you are gonna get me - but those were far, far outweighed by the obvious groan-worthy efforts - a baby doll turning its head? Really, show? American Horror Story could get away with that because it's intentionally awful over-the-top everything-referential, but not you.
Still, it has Thomas Kretschmann and Joe Anderson - not to mention Sin Nombre's wonderful Paulina Gaitan, who will hopefully get more to work with than Subtitled Doomsayer - so I will keep with it. But I hope they pull their shit together. Meaning more of this:
It had a couple of moments that sort of creeped me out - any time any where you make a bug crawl in somebody's sleeping mouth you are gonna get me - but those were far, far outweighed by the obvious groan-worthy efforts - a baby doll turning its head? Really, show? American Horror Story could get away with that because it's intentionally awful over-the-top everything-referential, but not you.
Still, it has Thomas Kretschmann and Joe Anderson - not to mention Sin Nombre's wonderful Paulina Gaitan, who will hopefully get more to work with than Subtitled Doomsayer - so I will keep with it. But I hope they pull their shit together. Meaning more of this:
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