TGT11: 5 Off My Head - Tube Gratuities

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Because I haven't made enough work for myself today covering my favorite male nakedness in the movies (not to even mention the other four days of endless excess we've already seen), I felt I really had to give a shout-out to the efforts of their small-screen counterparts this year since TV has become a true hot-bed of beefcakery. I'm not going to list all I could because honestly inside my brain right now is the part where James Brown collapses on stage and they wrap the cape around him, sweat flopping onto the front row, seriously. But I had to give a little bit of love in this direction, because damn! Good stuff. So here's the first five I thought of.



Charlie Cox on Boardwalk Empire - He gets bonus points for making out with Thomas on Downton Abbey, but he doesn't really need the bonus because oh my god I love furry little Charlie so much. See more here and here.

Thomas Jane, Hung - He sent the show off with a bang, i.e. a reveal of a dick so large they couldn't even fit the whole thing in frame. See everything over here and here and here. And bless him for this.

Joe Manganiello, True Blood - All the menfolk give it their all on True Blood but I'm giving Joe the attention this year, because he gave us a good look at that were-rump and yet somehow that scene of him wiggling into jeans was even more eye-popping.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Man Vs. Wild - Hey I didn't get to include him otherwise (he kept it all on in Source Code, the bastard person) and a celebration of gratuity without Jake is no celebration at all. See a bunch here.

Jason Momoa, A Game of Thrones - Another cast full of hot pieces we appreciate (Hey there, lil' Alfie Allen) but Khal Drogo wins the crown this year. Let's hope that Richard Madden and Kit Harington and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau bring it this next season. See more here. 

(And here's where I admit I just realized I forgot to include Momoa's Conan the Barbarian on the list of movie gratuities this year - I told you there'd be ones I forgot! See some shots from that movie here and here. Twas super foolish of me to forget this one. He might have even placed in the top 20 had I remembered him. Sorry, Jason!)

Alright feel free to tell me in the comments about

all the TV dudes I've not named here, I know there are lots.

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TGT11: 5 Off My Head - Tube Gratuities

.

Because I haven't made enough work for myself today covering my favorite male nakedness in the movies (not to even mention the other four days of endless excess we've already seen), I felt I really had to give a shout-out to the efforts of their small-screen counterparts this year since TV has become a true hot-bed of beefcakery. I'm not going to list all I could because honestly inside my brain right now is the part where James Brown collapses on stage and they wrap the cape around him, sweat flopping onto the front row, seriously. But I had to give a little bit of love in this direction, because damn! Good stuff. So here's the first five I thought of.



Charlie Cox on Boardwalk Empire - He gets bonus points for making out with Thomas on Downton Abbey, but he doesn't really need the bonus because oh my god I love furry little Charlie so much. See more here and here.

Thomas Jane, Hung - He sent the show off with a bang, i.e. a reveal of a dick so large they couldn't even fit the whole thing in frame. See everything over here and here and here. And bless him for this.

Joe Manganiello, True Blood - All the menfolk give it their all on True Blood but I'm giving Joe the attention this year, because he gave us a good look at that were-rump and yet somehow that scene of him wiggling into jeans was even more eye-popping.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Man Vs. Wild - Hey I didn't get to include him otherwise (he kept it all on in Source Code, the bastard person) and a celebration of gratuity without Jake is no celebration at all. See a bunch here.

Jason Momoa, A Game of Thrones - Another cast full of hot pieces we appreciate (Hey there, lil' Alfie Allen) but Khal Drogo wins the crown this year. Let's hope that Richard Madden and Kit Harington and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau bring it this next season. See more here. 

(And here's where I admit I just realized I forgot to include Momoa's Conan the Barbarian on the list of movie gratuities this year - I told you there'd be ones I forgot! See some shots from that movie here and here. Twas super foolish of me to forget this one. He might have even placed in the top 20 had I remembered him. Sorry, Jason!)

Alright feel free to tell me in the comments about

all the TV dudes I've not named here, I know there are lots.

.

This Little Piggy Went To... Murder!!!

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Happy 40th annual National Pig Day everybody! On this day back in the year 1972 two sisters started up the tradition to honor these the smartest and sweetest meated of quadrupeds, and here we are forty years later apparently still doing that. And now I want some bacon. So in honor of this most mouth-watering of holidays, I give you five of my favorite horror movie pig appearances.

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The ones that eat Gary Oldman in Hannibal

Farmer Vincent in Motel Hell

Leatherface's piggy sounds

Annie Wilkes' pet sow Misery

Prom night pig's blood!

And even though it's not technically a horror movie, the scene in Spirited Away where Sen's parents get turned into pigs is some freaky ass shit.

Or that scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy falls into the pen!

So scary! Ahh! Pigs are so horrible.
Yet also so delicious. What a conundrum.

As I thought about this list I had a horrible realization - I've never seen any of the actual full-fledged Killer Pig movies out there. Which... what? How is that possible? Shame on me. I've never seen the 2009 Korean movie Chaw or the 2010 French movie Prey; I've never seen the 1972 rape revenge thriller Daddy's Deadly Darling aka Pigs where the leading lady feeds men who remind her of her abusive father to some especially man-flesh desirous swine; I've never seen Razorback which oh my god I watched a couple of clips from Razorback just now on YouTube and I have got to see Razorback immediately.

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I should have a pig-a-thon. And eat bacon the whole time. And then I would probably die, from bacon. And fear! I want that on my tombstone. "He died as he lived, from bacon and fear."

.

This Little Piggy Went To... Murder!!!

.

Happy 40th annual National Pig Day everybody! On this day back in the year 1972 two sisters started up the tradition to honor these the smartest and sweetest meated of quadrupeds, and here we are forty years later apparently still doing that. And now I want some bacon. So in honor of this most mouth-watering of holidays, I give you five of my favorite horror movie pig appearances.

.

The ones that eat Gary Oldman in Hannibal

Farmer Vincent in Motel Hell

Leatherface's piggy sounds

Annie Wilkes' pet sow Misery

Prom night pig's blood!

And even though it's not technically a horror movie, the scene in Spirited Away where Sen's parents get turned into pigs is some freaky ass shit.

Or that scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy falls into the pen!

So scary! Ahh! Pigs are so horrible.
Yet also so delicious. What a conundrum.

As I thought about this list I had a horrible realization - I've never seen any of the actual full-fledged Killer Pig movies out there. Which... what? How is that possible? Shame on me. I've never seen the 2009 Korean movie Chaw or the 2010 French movie Prey; I've never seen the 1972 rape revenge thriller Daddy's Deadly Darling aka Pigs where the leading lady feeds men who remind her of her abusive father to some especially man-flesh desirous swine; I've never seen Razorback which oh my god I watched a couple of clips from Razorback just now on YouTube and I have got to see Razorback immediately.

.

I should have a pig-a-thon. And eat bacon the whole time. And then I would probably die, from bacon. And fear! I want that on my tombstone. "He died as he lived, from bacon and fear."

.

5 Off My Head - Roses For Rosemary

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It's Mia Farrow's 67th birthday today, so everybody go fuck the devil tonight in her honor. (Do I mean Satan or Woody Allen? You be the judge.) Meanwhile I'm going to list my five favorite performances of hers. I think we all know what my number one is so I ought to just leave it off as a given, but damn such thinking to hell, my favorite movie of ever is never to be shrugged off. Even if I've posted on it a billion times, it's a billion times too few. I mean, I actually used the quote I'm using from the movie below in conversation just last night! And yes, three of the five are for Woody Allen movies, but whatcha gonna do? He brought out her best. Until... all that. Anyway, let's go.

Rosemary Woodhouse, Rosemary's Baby

"Shut up. You're in Dubrovnik, I can't hear you."

Cecelia, The Purple Rose of Cairo

"I just met a wonderful new man.

He's fictional, but you can't have everything."

Buffy Brenner, A Wedding

(she's mute, and she's absolutely hysterical)

Judy Roth, Husbands and Wives

"Change is what life is made of! Change...

if you don't change, you don't grow, you just shrivel up!"

Alice Tate, Alice

"But then when dad died you drank yourself to death

with... with margaritas."

.

5 Off My Head - Roses For Rosemary

.

It's Mia Farrow's 67th birthday today, so everybody go fuck the devil tonight in her honor. (Do I mean Satan or Woody Allen? You be the judge.) Meanwhile I'm going to list my five favorite performances of hers. I think we all know what my number one is so I ought to just leave it off as a given, but damn such thinking to hell, my favorite movie of ever is never to be shrugged off. Even if I've posted on it a billion times, it's a billion times too few. I mean, I actually used the quote I'm using from the movie below in conversation just last night! And yes, three of the five are for Woody Allen movies, but whatcha gonna do? He brought out her best. Until... all that. Anyway, let's go.

Rosemary Woodhouse, Rosemary's Baby

"Shut up. You're in Dubrovnik, I can't hear you."

Cecelia, The Purple Rose of Cairo

"I just met a wonderful new man.

He's fictional, but you can't have everything."

Buffy Brenner, A Wedding

(she's mute, and she's absolutely hysterical)

Judy Roth, Husbands and Wives

"Change is what life is made of! Change...

if you don't change, you don't grow, you just shrivel up!"

Alice Tate, Alice

"But then when dad died you drank yourself to death

with... with margaritas."

.

5 Off My Head - Film Comment Selects

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(First off, that picture to the right there really has nothing to do with this post except it's a picture that once appeared in an issue of Film Comment magazine and came up while I was googling "Film Comment magazine covers" to illustrate what's to come in this post, but if you don't want to look at a ripped Brad Pitt covered in blood then I can't help you.)

So this list isn't strictly "off the top of my head" because there's nothing random about it - I am going to see five movies at the Film Comment Selects series that the Film Society of Lincoln Center just announced, running from February 17th through March 1st, and this will be a list of them. Easy peasy. 

It might make more sense to make a list of five movies that I'm not seeing that I would like to see but cannot for various whatever reasons - movies like Rainer Werner Fassbiner's Despair, his only English language film and one of his that I have never seen, but I'll have to skip the screenings of it because it's only showing in the afternoon and I have a day job, yo. Same with Ingmar Bergman's Face to Face. Or then there's the American remake of the single-shot horror flick The Silent House starring Elisabeth Olsen, which I'll also have to miss because I already have plans that night. Or then the Russian futurist nightmare Target sounds interesting, about a cosmic fountain of youth and the wealthy people who take advantage of it, but I can't make that one either. 

But that's all sad junk since I can't go to any of those movies, 

so let's look at the ones I am going to see. Hooray for the positive!

1- First and foremost, tickling the tips of my toes with excitement, is Yorgos Lanthimos' follow-up to Dogtooth, called ALPS. I've talked about this one several times here at the blog - I adored Dogtooth with every fiber of my being, and I cannot wait to see this. 

2- David Wain made Wet Hot American Summer, so I will see anything he ever makes for the rest of forever, even if it stars Jennifer Aniston. His new movie Wanderlust is actually out in theaters only a couple of days after it screens for this series, but Wain and stars Paul Rudd and Kerri Kenney are scheduled to be at the screening, so I'm totally there. Paul Rudd! Have you guys seen the new TV commercial for it? Justin Theroux saying "Suck it." to Paul Rudd over and over again is what heaven looks like, right?

3- Even though my only real knowledge beforehand of the Aussie snuff flick Snowtown is the fact that Glenn of Stale Popcorn hated hated hated it, the hate was so hot and palpable that it's kind of drawn me in with fascination. So I won't blame you, Glenn, when I'm horribly offended, you warned me.

4- The Forgiveness of Blood is the second feature from Joshua Marston, who directed the very very fine Maria Full of Grace. If it's as good as Maria, then I will be very happy indeed.

5- And finally how could I resist going to see James Franco bringing his pretentious homosexually-tinged artiste persona to we the people for a screening of his re-edited take on Gus Van Sant's My Own Prive Idaho and its star River Phoenix, which he calls My Own Private River. I have a feeling my eyes are going to roll right out of my head with this one, but I'm sure at the same time I'll be thinking about how I have something to shut him up with, and so it goes.

Alright, so tickets are on sale now, 

head over here to check it out y'all! 

.

5 Off My Head - Film Comment Selects

.

(First off, that picture to the right there really has nothing to do with this post except it's a picture that once appeared in an issue of Film Comment magazine and came up while I was googling "Film Comment magazine covers" to illustrate what's to come in this post, but if you don't want to look at a ripped Brad Pitt covered in blood then I can't help you.)

So this list isn't strictly "off the top of my head" because there's nothing random about it - I am going to see five movies at the Film Comment Selects series that the Film Society of Lincoln Center just announced, running from February 17th through March 1st, and this will be a list of them. Easy peasy. 

It might make more sense to make a list of five movies that I'm not seeing that I would like to see but cannot for various whatever reasons - movies like Rainer Werner Fassbiner's Despair, his only English language film and one of his that I have never seen, but I'll have to skip the screenings of it because it's only showing in the afternoon and I have a day job, yo. Same with Ingmar Bergman's Face to Face. Or then there's the American remake of the single-shot horror flick The Silent House starring Elisabeth Olsen, which I'll also have to miss because I already have plans that night. Or then the Russian futurist nightmare Target sounds interesting, about a cosmic fountain of youth and the wealthy people who take advantage of it, but I can't make that one either. 

But that's all sad junk since I can't go to any of those movies, 

so let's look at the ones I am going to see. Hooray for the positive!

1- First and foremost, tickling the tips of my toes with excitement, is Yorgos Lanthimos' follow-up to Dogtooth, called ALPS. I've talked about this one several times here at the blog - I adored Dogtooth with every fiber of my being, and I cannot wait to see this. 

2- David Wain made Wet Hot American Summer, so I will see anything he ever makes for the rest of forever, even if it stars Jennifer Aniston. His new movie Wanderlust is actually out in theaters only a couple of days after it screens for this series, but Wain and stars Paul Rudd and Kerri Kenney are scheduled to be at the screening, so I'm totally there. Paul Rudd! Have you guys seen the new TV commercial for it? Justin Theroux saying "Suck it." to Paul Rudd over and over again is what heaven looks like, right?

3- Even though my only real knowledge beforehand of the Aussie snuff flick Snowtown is the fact that Glenn of Stale Popcorn hated hated hated it, the hate was so hot and palpable that it's kind of drawn me in with fascination. So I won't blame you, Glenn, when I'm horribly offended, you warned me.

4- The Forgiveness of Blood is the second feature from Joshua Marston, who directed the very very fine Maria Full of Grace. If it's as good as Maria, then I will be very happy indeed.

5- And finally how could I resist going to see James Franco bringing his pretentious homosexually-tinged artiste persona to we the people for a screening of his re-edited take on Gus Van Sant's My Own Prive Idaho and its star River Phoenix, which he calls My Own Private River. I have a feeling my eyes are going to roll right out of my head with this one, but I'm sure at the same time I'll be thinking about how I have something to shut him up with, and so it goes.

Alright, so tickets are on sale now, 

head over here to check it out y'all! 

.