Alright Let's Try This Again

.

A couple of weeks ago it was rumored that Jake Gyllenhaal had picked his next project - he hasn't had anything lined up after his bald cop drama End of Watch for quite some time - and it was going to be the Hughes Brothers' new movie Motor City, which Dominic Cooper had just dropped out of. Well within 24 hours Jake was out, due to scheduling problems, and we went back to wondering if he'd ever make another movie or if he'd just become a music video star (and hey if they all involved him in a towel and hitting people with hammers we'd be fine with that). 

Well now we maybe have real news, and not just a rumor, maybe. Via Variety comes this:

GYLLENHAAL TO MEET DOUBLE IN 'AN ENEMY'

EXCLUSIVE: Before directing Hugh Jackman in PRISONERS, Denis Villeneuve will helm the indie AN ENEMY with Jake Gyllenhaal in negotiations to star, Variety's Justin Kroll reports. Javier Gullón is penning the adaptation based on the novel THE DOUBLE by Jose Saramago. The story revolves around a dysfunctional history teacher who accidentally discovers his exact double on a rented DVD, seeks him out and ends up turning both of their lives upside down. Gyllenhaal would play two roles in the film, described by sources as "dark and edgy."

Okay either Jake is as in love with Dominic Cooper's ass in The Devil's Double as much as we are or he got jealous of all the attention I've paid to Dom this past year, because first he almost picked up Dom's leftover role and now he's making a "dark and edgy" movie about doubles? If dark and edgy means we can expect a repeat of this from Jake Gyllenhaal...



... then I might have just exploded. KA-FUCKING-BOOM. (And no I will never tire of posting that gif; I may post it a thousand times over) Has anyone read Saramago's book? I loved Blindness so as soon as I hit post here I'm off to Amazon to pick this one up.

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Alright Let's Try This Again

.

A couple of weeks ago it was rumored that Jake Gyllenhaal had picked his next project - he hasn't had anything lined up after his bald cop drama End of Watch for quite some time - and it was going to be the Hughes Brothers' new movie Motor City, which Dominic Cooper had just dropped out of. Well within 24 hours Jake was out, due to scheduling problems, and we went back to wondering if he'd ever make another movie or if he'd just become a music video star (and hey if they all involved him in a towel and hitting people with hammers we'd be fine with that). 

Well now we maybe have real news, and not just a rumor, maybe. Via Variety comes this:

GYLLENHAAL TO MEET DOUBLE IN 'AN ENEMY'

EXCLUSIVE: Before directing Hugh Jackman in PRISONERS, Denis Villeneuve will helm the indie AN ENEMY with Jake Gyllenhaal in negotiations to star, Variety's Justin Kroll reports. Javier Gullón is penning the adaptation based on the novel THE DOUBLE by Jose Saramago. The story revolves around a dysfunctional history teacher who accidentally discovers his exact double on a rented DVD, seeks him out and ends up turning both of their lives upside down. Gyllenhaal would play two roles in the film, described by sources as "dark and edgy."

Okay either Jake is as in love with Dominic Cooper's ass in The Devil's Double as much as we are or he got jealous of all the attention I've paid to Dom this past year, because first he almost picked up Dom's leftover role and now he's making a "dark and edgy" movie about doubles? If dark and edgy means we can expect a repeat of this from Jake Gyllenhaal...



... then I might have just exploded. KA-FUCKING-BOOM. (And no I will never tire of posting that gif; I may post it a thousand times over) Has anyone read Saramago's book? I loved Blindness so as soon as I hit post here I'm off to Amazon to pick this one up.

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TGT11: 5 Off My Head - Tube Gratuities

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Because I haven't made enough work for myself today covering my favorite male nakedness in the movies (not to even mention the other four days of endless excess we've already seen), I felt I really had to give a shout-out to the efforts of their small-screen counterparts this year since TV has become a true hot-bed of beefcakery. I'm not going to list all I could because honestly inside my brain right now is the part where James Brown collapses on stage and they wrap the cape around him, sweat flopping onto the front row, seriously. But I had to give a little bit of love in this direction, because damn! Good stuff. So here's the first five I thought of.



Charlie Cox on Boardwalk Empire - He gets bonus points for making out with Thomas on Downton Abbey, but he doesn't really need the bonus because oh my god I love furry little Charlie so much. See more here and here.

Thomas Jane, Hung - He sent the show off with a bang, i.e. a reveal of a dick so large they couldn't even fit the whole thing in frame. See everything over here and here and here. And bless him for this.

Joe Manganiello, True Blood - All the menfolk give it their all on True Blood but I'm giving Joe the attention this year, because he gave us a good look at that were-rump and yet somehow that scene of him wiggling into jeans was even more eye-popping.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Man Vs. Wild - Hey I didn't get to include him otherwise (he kept it all on in Source Code, the bastard person) and a celebration of gratuity without Jake is no celebration at all. See a bunch here.

Jason Momoa, A Game of Thrones - Another cast full of hot pieces we appreciate (Hey there, lil' Alfie Allen) but Khal Drogo wins the crown this year. Let's hope that Richard Madden and Kit Harington and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau bring it this next season. See more here. 

(And here's where I admit I just realized I forgot to include Momoa's Conan the Barbarian on the list of movie gratuities this year - I told you there'd be ones I forgot! See some shots from that movie here and here. Twas super foolish of me to forget this one. He might have even placed in the top 20 had I remembered him. Sorry, Jason!)

Alright feel free to tell me in the comments about

all the TV dudes I've not named here, I know there are lots.

.

TGT11: 5 Off My Head - Tube Gratuities

.

Because I haven't made enough work for myself today covering my favorite male nakedness in the movies (not to even mention the other four days of endless excess we've already seen), I felt I really had to give a shout-out to the efforts of their small-screen counterparts this year since TV has become a true hot-bed of beefcakery. I'm not going to list all I could because honestly inside my brain right now is the part where James Brown collapses on stage and they wrap the cape around him, sweat flopping onto the front row, seriously. But I had to give a little bit of love in this direction, because damn! Good stuff. So here's the first five I thought of.



Charlie Cox on Boardwalk Empire - He gets bonus points for making out with Thomas on Downton Abbey, but he doesn't really need the bonus because oh my god I love furry little Charlie so much. See more here and here.

Thomas Jane, Hung - He sent the show off with a bang, i.e. a reveal of a dick so large they couldn't even fit the whole thing in frame. See everything over here and here and here. And bless him for this.

Joe Manganiello, True Blood - All the menfolk give it their all on True Blood but I'm giving Joe the attention this year, because he gave us a good look at that were-rump and yet somehow that scene of him wiggling into jeans was even more eye-popping.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Man Vs. Wild - Hey I didn't get to include him otherwise (he kept it all on in Source Code, the bastard person) and a celebration of gratuity without Jake is no celebration at all. See a bunch here.

Jason Momoa, A Game of Thrones - Another cast full of hot pieces we appreciate (Hey there, lil' Alfie Allen) but Khal Drogo wins the crown this year. Let's hope that Richard Madden and Kit Harington and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau bring it this next season. See more here. 

(And here's where I admit I just realized I forgot to include Momoa's Conan the Barbarian on the list of movie gratuities this year - I told you there'd be ones I forgot! See some shots from that movie here and here. Twas super foolish of me to forget this one. He might have even placed in the top 20 had I remembered him. Sorry, Jason!)

Alright feel free to tell me in the comments about

all the TV dudes I've not named here, I know there are lots.

.

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

.

.

... pointing and thrusting with Jake Gyllenhaal.

A music video where Jake plays a dead-eyed murdering madman,

and then goes and works out and sits in a sauna some?

Be still my blood-pump, a thousand times yes yes yes.
I won't ever complain about Jake not working enough again -
he just beat a hipster to death with a hammer. SWOON!!!

See a couple more shots after the jump...

Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

.

.

... pointing and thrusting with Jake Gyllenhaal.

A music video where Jake plays a dead-eyed murdering madman,

and then goes and works out and sits in a sauna some?

Be still my blood-pump, a thousand times yes yes yes.
I won't ever complain about Jake not working enough again -
he just beat a hipster to death with a hammer. SWOON!!!

See a couple more shots after the jump...

I Am Link

.

--- Jake Out - No, not out out, but out of Motor City, that movie he was just supposedly in as of yesterday, replacing Dominic Cooper. He is not doing the film now - story goes he wanted to push back the start date but the studio wasn't having none of it. Why would he need to push back the start date? What the hell is he doing instead? He has zero point zero zero projects lined up. WTF, Jake?

--- Cool Rider - Tom Hardy's going to play a tough ass ex-Vietnam vet biker dude in a new movie. And now we should all take a moment inside of our minds to imagine Tom Hardy in military fatigues and then in biker leather. Yes, this movie needed to be made.

--- Team Up - Hey here's Joss Whedon talking about The Avengers, and then talking about The Avengers 2.

--- Once Loved - Apparently the Aussie horror flick The Loved Ones - which was my favorite horror movie of last year - is getting an actual release here in the US this year? That's what BD says, and they have a new poster. It's a glorious movie, so effing good, so if you get the chance to see it for real do it!

--- Rush Rush - Since it's a Ron Howard movie it will inevitably suck, but DH has a couple shots of Chris Hemsworth on the set of Rush, which is about a race car driver, and that one of him there to the ? is too good to pass up. Even with that strange (albeit period appropriate) shag.

--- Melvil Anyways - There's a gallery of photographs of the lovely Melvil Poupaud in Xavier Dolan's next movie Laurence Anyways over here (thanks to Nat for the heads-up).

--- Fassy Supporters - Casting is moving along with Ridley Scott's next movie The Counselor - that's the one that will star Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who gets over his head dealing drugs on the side. Natalie Portman is up for the lead lady role, while the villain role, which was being circled by Javier Bardem, Jeremy Renner and Brad Pitt, is now between Bardem and Renner. I was hoping for Pitt. Bardem is apparently who Scott wants.
.

I Am Link

.

--- Jake Out - No, not out out, but out of Motor City, that movie he was just supposedly in as of yesterday, replacing Dominic Cooper. He is not doing the film now - story goes he wanted to push back the start date but the studio wasn't having none of it. Why would he need to push back the start date? What the hell is he doing instead? He has zero point zero zero projects lined up. WTF, Jake?

--- Cool Rider - Tom Hardy's going to play a tough ass ex-Vietnam vet biker dude in a new movie. And now we should all take a moment inside of our minds to imagine Tom Hardy in military fatigues and then in biker leather. Yes, this movie needed to be made.

--- Team Up - Hey here's Joss Whedon talking about The Avengers, and then talking about The Avengers 2.

--- Once Loved - Apparently the Aussie horror flick The Loved Ones - which was my favorite horror movie of last year - is getting an actual release here in the US this year? That's what BD says, and they have a new poster. It's a glorious movie, so effing good, so if you get the chance to see it for real do it!

--- Rush Rush - Since it's a Ron Howard movie it will inevitably suck, but DH has a couple shots of Chris Hemsworth on the set of Rush, which is about a race car driver, and that one of him there to the ? is too good to pass up. Even with that strange (albeit period appropriate) shag.

--- Melvil Anyways - There's a gallery of photographs of the lovely Melvil Poupaud in Xavier Dolan's next movie Laurence Anyways over here (thanks to Nat for the heads-up).

--- Fassy Supporters - Casting is moving along with Ridley Scott's next movie The Counselor - that's the one that will star Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who gets over his head dealing drugs on the side. Natalie Portman is up for the lead lady role, while the villain role, which was being circled by Javier Bardem, Jeremy Renner and Brad Pitt, is now between Bardem and Renner. I was hoping for Pitt. Bardem is apparently who Scott wants.
.

This News Story Exists...

.

... solely for me to get the chance to photoshop those two together, right? I mean perhaps one day I won't have to photoshop them together because they will actually be photographed together - in flagrante! - but until then, this news was made for me to get to photoshop Jake Gyllenhaal and Dominic Cooper into a single shot. And I appreciate that. Via Slash:

"Jake Gyllenhaal Replaces Dominic Cooper in ‘Motor City’

Briefly: The script for Motor City, written by Chad St. John, sounds pretty rote: a former Army Ranger is framed for a crime, and when released from prison he goes after the guy who did the framing, and who stole his girl to boot. But the script has almost no dialogue — a few lines, maybe — and that makes it sound like an interesting exercise, at least.

Dominic Cooper was going to play the lead role, with Gary Oldman as the bad guy and Amber Heard as the female lead. But Cooper ended up moving on, and now Jake Gyllenhaal will play the lead role, under the direction of Albert Hughes. (His first film without brother Allen.) A spring start is scheduled, with the film set to shoot in Berlin."

We told you about this movie both when Dom got cast and when he left the movie. We also have been wondering lately if Jake was ever going to pick another movie to make, or act again, since his schedule's been blank for awhile. So now we know. And the more you know... the more pictures you will photoshop to hump, apparently.

.

This News Story Exists...

.

... solely for me to get the chance to photoshop those two together, right? I mean perhaps one day I won't have to photoshop them together because they will actually be photographed together - in flagrante! - but until then, this news was made for me to get to photoshop Jake Gyllenhaal and Dominic Cooper into a single shot. And I appreciate that. Via Slash:

"Jake Gyllenhaal Replaces Dominic Cooper in ‘Motor City’

Briefly: The script for Motor City, written by Chad St. John, sounds pretty rote: a former Army Ranger is framed for a crime, and when released from prison he goes after the guy who did the framing, and who stole his girl to boot. But the script has almost no dialogue — a few lines, maybe — and that makes it sound like an interesting exercise, at least.

Dominic Cooper was going to play the lead role, with Gary Oldman as the bad guy and Amber Heard as the female lead. But Cooper ended up moving on, and now Jake Gyllenhaal will play the lead role, under the direction of Albert Hughes. (His first film without brother Allen.) A spring start is scheduled, with the film set to shoot in Berlin."

We told you about this movie both when Dom got cast and when he left the movie. We also have been wondering lately if Jake was ever going to pick another movie to make, or act again, since his schedule's been blank for awhile. So now we know. And the more you know... the more pictures you will photoshop to hump, apparently.

.

End of Jake

.

Deadline has word on Jake Gyllenhaal's Last Movie - that's what I'm calling it until he gets his shit together and actually picks another movie to make - the Bald Cop Drama called End of Watch. Basically a company's bought the film for distribution before the end of the year. Hey maybe by then we'll know if he wants to still be an actor, or if he and Austin Nichols are just gonna buy a little antique ship in Vermont and retire.

End of Jake

.

Deadline has word on Jake Gyllenhaal's Last Movie - that's what I'm calling it until he gets his shit together and actually picks another movie to make - the Bald Cop Drama called End of Watch. Basically a company's bought the film for distribution before the end of the year. Hey maybe by then we'll know if he wants to still be an actor, or if he and Austin Nichols are just gonna buy a little antique ship in Vermont and retire.

Call Me Gay Sherlock

.

Sniffing out sexual peccadilloes everywhere I look! (I just wanted to use the word "peccadilloes." I don't think I have ever used that word in a sentence before! This is exciting.) Anyway. Don't call me Gay Sherlock. But do listen to what I have come up with. I saw two bits of news this morning that had me putting my double-billed hunter's cap on and striking a thoughtful pose. First up, I saw this:

"Sophia Bush and her long-time boyfriend Austin Nichols have called it quits. The 29-year-old actress has been dating Austin, 31, since they co-starred on One Tree Hill together. A source told Us Weekly Sophia “didn’t think he was the one,” and added “she’s moving on.”"

So Austin's single, eh? Or you know, "single," since I have my doubts about the state of his relationship-status as its stood for a few years now. Ahem.

Anyway how is he spending his "newly single" time? Via his Twitter:

He's in Berlin at the film festival meeting Meryl Streep, is he? Hmm I swear I heard something about somebody else being at the Berlin Film Festival presenting this very same Meryl Streep person with an award just the other day...

What a coincidence! Just a couple of "single" guys on the town,
tearing it a new one, is all...

Call Me Gay Sherlock

.

Sniffing out sexual peccadilloes everywhere I look! (I just wanted to use the word "peccadilloes." I don't think I have ever used that word in a sentence before! This is exciting.) Anyway. Don't call me Gay Sherlock. But do listen to what I have come up with. I saw two bits of news this morning that had me putting my double-billed hunter's cap on and striking a thoughtful pose. First up, I saw this:

"Sophia Bush and her long-time boyfriend Austin Nichols have called it quits. The 29-year-old actress has been dating Austin, 31, since they co-starred on One Tree Hill together. A source told Us Weekly Sophia “didn’t think he was the one,” and added “she’s moving on.”"

So Austin's single, eh? Or you know, "single," since I have my doubts about the state of his relationship-status as its stood for a few years now. Ahem.

Anyway how is he spending his "newly single" time? Via his Twitter:

He's in Berlin at the film festival meeting Meryl Streep, is he? Hmm I swear I heard something about somebody else being at the Berlin Film Festival presenting this very same Meryl Streep person with an award just the other day...

What a coincidence! Just a couple of "single" guys on the town,
tearing it a new one, is all...