Hardy Goes Gay For Footballer

.

I can't decide if this is news that will make my boyfriend happy or not - he was always pissed off that Mickey Rourke was going to play the openly gay rubgy star Gareth Thomas, because of how, well, gross Mickey Rourke has become, and how not gross Gareth Thomas is. Well now comes word via Gareth himself that Rourke's dropped out because he's too old for all that training, and that Tom Hardy is in talks to play him. Tom Hardy is no stranger to get pumped up for a role, says the man who deals in understatements. But my boyfriend doesn't really like Tom Hardy either. But this has got to be better, right? I actually think Tom is brilliant casting and I really hope this works out. And not just because I want Tom to get good and gay again. Not just. I mean, there's probably like 5% or so where I care about his acting being good or whatever.

Hardy Goes Gay For Footballer

.

I can't decide if this is news that will make my boyfriend happy or not - he was always pissed off that Mickey Rourke was going to play the openly gay rubgy star Gareth Thomas, because of how, well, gross Mickey Rourke has become, and how not gross Gareth Thomas is. Well now comes word via Gareth himself that Rourke's dropped out because he's too old for all that training, and that Tom Hardy is in talks to play him. Tom Hardy is no stranger to get pumped up for a role, says the man who deals in understatements. But my boyfriend doesn't really like Tom Hardy either. But this has got to be better, right? I actually think Tom is brilliant casting and I really hope this works out. And not just because I want Tom to get good and gay again. Not just. I mean, there's probably like 5% or so where I care about his acting being good or whatever.

TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

.

I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
.

And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

.

poll by twiigs.com

.

Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

.

TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

.

I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
.

And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

.

poll by twiigs.com

.

Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

.

TGT11: Actor to Actor #4

.

What's the "Actor to Actor" series? First I pick out my twenty favorite performances of the year. Then I mix those twenty names all up and pick out two names at random. And then I imagine what a conversation between those two characters would be like. Rinse and repeat. For fun! So let's get to it. Here's MNPP's fourth pair of favorite performances of 2011...

Young Adult's Matt Freehauf (Patton Oswalt)

and Warrior's Tommy Conlon (Tom Hardy)

(after ten minutes of not speaking)
Matt: I have pills.

Tommy: Let's do this shit.

Matt: Boo-yah. Are you gonna put a shirt on?

Tommy: Fuck you you ain't my father!!!

PREVIOUSLY

William Shimell talks to Jeong-hie Jun

Michael Fassbender talks to Elizabeth Olsen

Kirsten Dunst talks to Andrea Riseborough

.

TGT11: Actor to Actor #4

.

What's the "Actor to Actor" series? First I pick out my twenty favorite performances of the year. Then I mix those twenty names all up and pick out two names at random. And then I imagine what a conversation between those two characters would be like. Rinse and repeat. For fun! So let's get to it. Here's MNPP's fourth pair of favorite performances of 2011...

Young Adult's Matt Freehauf (Patton Oswalt)

and Warrior's Tommy Conlon (Tom Hardy)

(after ten minutes of not speaking)
Matt: I have pills.

Tommy: Let's do this shit.

Matt: Boo-yah. Are you gonna put a shirt on?

Tommy: Fuck you you ain't my father!!!

PREVIOUSLY

William Shimell talks to Jeong-hie Jun

Michael Fassbender talks to Elizabeth Olsen

Kirsten Dunst talks to Andrea Riseborough

.

I Am Link

.

--- Jake Out - No, not out out, but out of Motor City, that movie he was just supposedly in as of yesterday, replacing Dominic Cooper. He is not doing the film now - story goes he wanted to push back the start date but the studio wasn't having none of it. Why would he need to push back the start date? What the hell is he doing instead? He has zero point zero zero projects lined up. WTF, Jake?

--- Cool Rider - Tom Hardy's going to play a tough ass ex-Vietnam vet biker dude in a new movie. And now we should all take a moment inside of our minds to imagine Tom Hardy in military fatigues and then in biker leather. Yes, this movie needed to be made.

--- Team Up - Hey here's Joss Whedon talking about The Avengers, and then talking about The Avengers 2.

--- Once Loved - Apparently the Aussie horror flick The Loved Ones - which was my favorite horror movie of last year - is getting an actual release here in the US this year? That's what BD says, and they have a new poster. It's a glorious movie, so effing good, so if you get the chance to see it for real do it!

--- Rush Rush - Since it's a Ron Howard movie it will inevitably suck, but DH has a couple shots of Chris Hemsworth on the set of Rush, which is about a race car driver, and that one of him there to the ? is too good to pass up. Even with that strange (albeit period appropriate) shag.

--- Melvil Anyways - There's a gallery of photographs of the lovely Melvil Poupaud in Xavier Dolan's next movie Laurence Anyways over here (thanks to Nat for the heads-up).

--- Fassy Supporters - Casting is moving along with Ridley Scott's next movie The Counselor - that's the one that will star Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who gets over his head dealing drugs on the side. Natalie Portman is up for the lead lady role, while the villain role, which was being circled by Javier Bardem, Jeremy Renner and Brad Pitt, is now between Bardem and Renner. I was hoping for Pitt. Bardem is apparently who Scott wants.
.

I Am Link

.

--- Jake Out - No, not out out, but out of Motor City, that movie he was just supposedly in as of yesterday, replacing Dominic Cooper. He is not doing the film now - story goes he wanted to push back the start date but the studio wasn't having none of it. Why would he need to push back the start date? What the hell is he doing instead? He has zero point zero zero projects lined up. WTF, Jake?

--- Cool Rider - Tom Hardy's going to play a tough ass ex-Vietnam vet biker dude in a new movie. And now we should all take a moment inside of our minds to imagine Tom Hardy in military fatigues and then in biker leather. Yes, this movie needed to be made.

--- Team Up - Hey here's Joss Whedon talking about The Avengers, and then talking about The Avengers 2.

--- Once Loved - Apparently the Aussie horror flick The Loved Ones - which was my favorite horror movie of last year - is getting an actual release here in the US this year? That's what BD says, and they have a new poster. It's a glorious movie, so effing good, so if you get the chance to see it for real do it!

--- Rush Rush - Since it's a Ron Howard movie it will inevitably suck, but DH has a couple shots of Chris Hemsworth on the set of Rush, which is about a race car driver, and that one of him there to the ? is too good to pass up. Even with that strange (albeit period appropriate) shag.

--- Melvil Anyways - There's a gallery of photographs of the lovely Melvil Poupaud in Xavier Dolan's next movie Laurence Anyways over here (thanks to Nat for the heads-up).

--- Fassy Supporters - Casting is moving along with Ridley Scott's next movie The Counselor - that's the one that will star Michael Fassbender as a lawyer who gets over his head dealing drugs on the side. Natalie Portman is up for the lead lady role, while the villain role, which was being circled by Javier Bardem, Jeremy Renner and Brad Pitt, is now between Bardem and Renner. I was hoping for Pitt. Bardem is apparently who Scott wants.
.

The Men Behind The Curtain

.

(click to embiggen) Vanity Fair's posted a gallery of images taken by the photographer Simon Annand, who shoots actors in their dressing rooms before stage performances, and naturally these shots of Daniel Craig in 1999 and Tom Hardy in 2004 were the ones I gravitated to. Click over for looks at Cate Blanchett, Rachel Weisz, and others. (thanks Mac)

The Men Behind The Curtain

.

(click to embiggen) Vanity Fair's posted a gallery of images taken by the photographer Simon Annand, who shoots actors in their dressing rooms before stage performances, and naturally these shots of Daniel Craig in 1999 and Tom Hardy in 2004 were the ones I gravitated to. Click over for looks at Cate Blanchett, Rachel Weisz, and others. (thanks Mac)