TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

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I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
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And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

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poll by twiigs.com

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Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

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TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

.

I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
.

And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

.

poll by twiigs.com

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Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

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BABY PUT ON HEART SHAPED GLASSES ♥

Obsessing over Lana Del Rey's album, drinking lots of tea, having a lovely week with my grandma and auntie who have come to stay with us, victoria sponge cake from M&S, mini tea parties, long sunny walks, Harry Potter marathons, pink nail varnish, sharing stories, early morning sunshine ♥

BABY PUT ON HEART SHAPED GLASSES ♥

Obsessing over Lana Del Rey's album, drinking lots of tea, having a lovely week with my grandma and auntie who have come to stay with us, victoria sponge cake from M&S, mini tea parties, long sunny walks, Harry Potter marathons, pink nail varnish, sharing stories, early morning sunshine ♥

Quote of the Day

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My friend Sean T. Collins plowed through the first two seasons of Downton Abbey recently, and wrote up a bunch of as-always on-point thoughts regarding it. You can read his piece on the first season here, and his brand new piece on the second season here. From that second link comes this brilliance in the form of an aside:

"Any time I really look at Maggie Smith’s eyes, I think to myself that she’s got a truly great villain role in her somewhere, if the right part comes along. I mean a David Lynch-type villain, a villain who radiates menace. The Dowager Countess is a pussycat compared to what’s potentially in there."

Why don't we live in a world where this is happening? Make this happen! Even if it's Harry Potter 9: The Vengeance of McGonagall.

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Quote of the Day

.

My friend Sean T. Collins plowed through the first two seasons of Downton Abbey recently, and wrote up a bunch of as-always on-point thoughts regarding it. You can read his piece on the first season here, and his brand new piece on the second season here. From that second link comes this brilliance in the form of an aside:

"Any time I really look at Maggie Smith’s eyes, I think to myself that she’s got a truly great villain role in her somewhere, if the right part comes along. I mean a David Lynch-type villain, a villain who radiates menace. The Dowager Countess is a pussycat compared to what’s potentially in there."

Why don't we live in a world where this is happening? Make this happen! Even if it's Harry Potter 9: The Vengeance of McGonagall.

.

Prick Up Your Gary Oldman

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I got to see a Q&A with Oscar nominee (yay) Gary Oldman last night at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and he came off exactly as I thought he would - he's much more George Smiley than he is Sid Vicious, at least he is these days. Although he did get in jokes about pornography and masturbation, so I suppose he's in between. He'd probably say he's a little bit of all his characters, but then he's an actor so of course he would. The conversation was a lot about acting and his process in finding a character, which honestly I'm not really the biggest audience for that sort of stuff, but Oldman kept it light enough and never once used the words "my craft," so we're good. We're good, Gary!

Those pictures up top were him describing a spectacular performance he saw Anthony Hopkins give on the stage (I don't remember what play he said it was for but it was before Dracula because he spoke of working with "Tony" after seeing it), and how Hopkins accidentally discovered his character's entire "physicality" - he did use that word a little too much - because he couldn't hear the play's director talking to him from the back of the theater.

He talked a lot about Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula film, which made me happy. About what it was like under that make-up - about how back then they didn't have the hi-tech sorts of silicone they have now so it was a lot of heavy foam, and how you just have to go zen so as to not have a panic attack. And about the voice - he trained with an opera singer for a couple of months to get the low register that he wanted.

He talked about getting typecast for a villain in the wake of the two movies he did with Luc Besson - The Professional and The Fifth Element - but that hey, you gotta keep working so you take what they're offering. That sort of nonchalance kept the conversation moving.

As for the Batman movies he spoke of the secrecy - how he got in trouble for alluding to filming dates at ComiCon, and the way he only sees the whole story come together once they finally screen the thing for the cast. He seemed in awe of Chris Nolan's cool, the way he can shoulder such massive projects without seeming to bat an eyelash, and he said that this third one, The Dark Knight Rises, is most definitely their last one (until the inevitable reboot, of course).

The biggest laugh of the night came when he told about shooting a scene for one of the Harry Potter movies, and how incredulous he was to see Dame Maggie Smith being used to stand around in the background as a glorified extra. She sidled up to him and whispered, "Next time I'm just going to send the fucking hat."

.

Prick Up Your Gary Oldman

.

I got to see a Q&A with Oscar nominee (yay) Gary Oldman last night at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and he came off exactly as I thought he would - he's much more George Smiley than he is Sid Vicious, at least he is these days. Although he did get in jokes about pornography and masturbation, so I suppose he's in between. He'd probably say he's a little bit of all his characters, but then he's an actor so of course he would. The conversation was a lot about acting and his process in finding a character, which honestly I'm not really the biggest audience for that sort of stuff, but Oldman kept it light enough and never once used the words "my craft," so we're good. We're good, Gary!

Those pictures up top were him describing a spectacular performance he saw Anthony Hopkins give on the stage (I don't remember what play he said it was for but it was before Dracula because he spoke of working with "Tony" after seeing it), and how Hopkins accidentally discovered his character's entire "physicality" - he did use that word a little too much - because he couldn't hear the play's director talking to him from the back of the theater.

He talked a lot about Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula film, which made me happy. About what it was like under that make-up - about how back then they didn't have the hi-tech sorts of silicone they have now so it was a lot of heavy foam, and how you just have to go zen so as to not have a panic attack. And about the voice - he trained with an opera singer for a couple of months to get the low register that he wanted.

He talked about getting typecast for a villain in the wake of the two movies he did with Luc Besson - The Professional and The Fifth Element - but that hey, you gotta keep working so you take what they're offering. That sort of nonchalance kept the conversation moving.

As for the Batman movies he spoke of the secrecy - how he got in trouble for alluding to filming dates at ComiCon, and the way he only sees the whole story come together once they finally screen the thing for the cast. He seemed in awe of Chris Nolan's cool, the way he can shoulder such massive projects without seeming to bat an eyelash, and he said that this third one, The Dark Knight Rises, is most definitely their last one (until the inevitable reboot, of course).

The biggest laugh of the night came when he told about shooting a scene for one of the Harry Potter movies, and how incredulous he was to see Dame Maggie Smith being used to stand around in the background as a glorified extra. She sidled up to him and whispered, "Next time I'm just going to send the fucking hat."

.

Daniel Radcliffe Eight Times

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Oh dear he looks positively adorable in this photo-shoot for Esquire UK, doesn't he? I'm rooting for Danny to have a good post-Potter career. The buzz on the remake of The Woman In Black has been better than I anticipated, even though I worry it's going to rely on CG scares more than it ought to. It doesn't have to - the original worked up an atmosphere of dread with just location and clever pacing. Anyway he just seems like the coolest lil' fella, I wish him well. (Yes, I also wish him naked.)

.

Daniel Radcliffe Eight Times

.

Oh dear he looks positively adorable in this photo-shoot for Esquire UK, doesn't he? I'm rooting for Danny to have a good post-Potter career. The buzz on the remake of The Woman In Black has been better than I anticipated, even though I worry it's going to rely on CG scares more than it ought to. It doesn't have to - the original worked up an atmosphere of dread with just location and clever pacing. Anyway he just seems like the coolest lil' fella, I wish him well. (Yes, I also wish him naked.)

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