TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011, #10-1

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Again, I'm keeping this brief because you're already scanning down through the list, I know it.... yup, there you went. Here's a link to twelve runners-up to this list if you missed them, and here's #20-11. And now drumroll  etc. here's my ten favorite male gratuities of 2011.

Ryan Gosling for Crazy Stupid Love -  I imagine I will get yelled at for Ryan only making #10 - I know how attached y'all have become to him. Me too! Me too, dammit. The efforts of nine (well ten technically) others just outweighed his dapper swagger here by a bit. (He probably lost some points for keeping The Driver fully clothed the whole time, if I'm gonna be honest. He couldn't pose and flex on the hood of a hot car even once?) 

Tom Cullen and Chris New for Weekend - Tom Cullen had me at his "dick-in-butt face." Seriously though these guys chemistry was off the charts (impressive since Cullen's apparently straight) and they made just lounging around the morning after sexy. Although the night during was totally good too. (more here)

Alexander Skarsgard for Straw Dogs and Melancholia - Alex would've placed lower on the list if it had just been for Straw Dogs (not to knock it - he's redneck sex incarnate) but then I remembered at the last minute him half out of his tux on the bedroom floor in Melancholia and he shot ahead a few spots right quick. A man half out of formal wear is the best look ever. (more Straw Dogs here)

Jung-jae Lee for The Housemaid - Besides his perfect physical form (what is this "besides" of which I speak?) there's such an arrogant air about Lee in this movie that is so hot. He's such a jerk! Delicious. From the front and especially the back...

Otto Jr. for The Silver Cliff - Oh how I wish I could offer up more photos of Otto Jr. in The Silver Cliff than I've been able to show off so far. I posted some shots back when I first saw the movie from the brief footage I could find online, but there's so much more to see. The film starts with a long shot of him walking around in public in just a little black speedo, and a few minutes later he'll have seemed positively overdressed back when he was in that little black speedo. And he's such a big bushy-bearded brute. 

Chris Evans for What's Your Number? and Captain America and Puncture - It was only a year or two ago that Chris Evans' publicist or manager or whoever said he was stepping away from taking off his shirt, wasn't it? I can't really remember, the ripples from the internet exploding are still coming backwards through time and clouding my perception.

But what a difference some sanity makes. Chris went all out in 2011, pumping up to hulking enormity for Captain America (more here), wearing stripper-suspenders and not much else in Puncture (more here and here), and then there was the behemoth that was his 95% unclothed performance in What's Your Number (more here and here and here). Good boy, Chris.

Eric Bana for Hanna - In another year Eric Bana coming out of the water in nothing but a soaking wet pair of long underwear would have blown away all the competition, but good god has this been a wonderfully crazy year. The top three beat him out by excess alone - if only Eric had elbowed that little blonde girl out of the way and spent the whole running time swimming around and sunning himself on rocks, then maybe he'd have topped the top three. (Mmmm that phrase.) See a bunch of caps here.

Henry Cavill for Immortals - I rewatched Immortals last week and felt exactly the same way I did about it in the theater - it's beyond beautiful and also deadly dull. It just takes itself far too seriously when it should be having more fun. But then I also felt that nothing else matters in the world except for the ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous body that Henry Cavill was swinging around the whole time. Just... ridiculous. (And the fact that Man of Steel has him keeping the body while growing out his chest hair on top of that means you can check off a spot in next year's list as reserved.) See more from Immortals here and here and here and here and here.

Dominic Cooper for The Devil's Double - Double the pleasure and double the Dom, this movie was the love letter to Dominic Cooper's most perfect ass slash everything above and below that most perfect ass that we've all been waiting for. It's so amazing it has to be on screen twice at the same time! Just imagine the lucky duck who did the special effects on this movie, spending hours of their day CG'ing four Dominic Cooper ass-cheeks into a single frame. That right there is the most fortunate person in the world. I hope they retired after this, living off the memories for the rest of their life. It's all downhill from there, lucky person! See extensive caps here.

And finally...

Michael Fassbender for Shame - Otherwise known as "Duh!" This pick was chiseled into stone tablets by a soothsayer several millennia ago. Not only did he give my favorite performance by a male actor this year but he exposed his emotions and the extensive length of his shaft. That's called honing your craft.

Is there any wonder he's the biggest thing to happen to Hollywood in years? When George Clooney christens the great ship Movie Star by swinging your penis against it like a bottle of champagne then you know you've arrived. See previous posts devoted to Fassy the man and Fassy the man-parts (calling his dick Fassy Jr. just does not work, for most obvious reasons) here and here. Bonus points to Michael for coming out swinging in X-Men: Muppet Babies, giving us a preview of coming attractions.

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poll by twiigs.com

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TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011, #10-1

.

Again, I'm keeping this brief because you're already scanning down through the list, I know it.... yup, there you went. Here's a link to twelve runners-up to this list if you missed them, and here's #20-11. And now drumroll  etc. here's my ten favorite male gratuities of 2011.

Ryan Gosling for Crazy Stupid Love -  I imagine I will get yelled at for Ryan only making #10 - I know how attached y'all have become to him. Me too! Me too, dammit. The efforts of nine (well ten technically) others just outweighed his dapper swagger here by a bit. (He probably lost some points for keeping The Driver fully clothed the whole time, if I'm gonna be honest. He couldn't pose and flex on the hood of a hot car even once?) 

Tom Cullen and Chris New for Weekend - Tom Cullen had me at his "dick-in-butt face." Seriously though these guys chemistry was off the charts (impressive since Cullen's apparently straight) and they made just lounging around the morning after sexy. Although the night during was totally good too. (more here)

Alexander Skarsgard for Straw Dogs and Melancholia - Alex would've placed lower on the list if it had just been for Straw Dogs (not to knock it - he's redneck sex incarnate) but then I remembered at the last minute him half out of his tux on the bedroom floor in Melancholia and he shot ahead a few spots right quick. A man half out of formal wear is the best look ever. (more Straw Dogs here)

Jung-jae Lee for The Housemaid - Besides his perfect physical form (what is this "besides" of which I speak?) there's such an arrogant air about Lee in this movie that is so hot. He's such a jerk! Delicious. From the front and especially the back...

Otto Jr. for The Silver Cliff - Oh how I wish I could offer up more photos of Otto Jr. in The Silver Cliff than I've been able to show off so far. I posted some shots back when I first saw the movie from the brief footage I could find online, but there's so much more to see. The film starts with a long shot of him walking around in public in just a little black speedo, and a few minutes later he'll have seemed positively overdressed back when he was in that little black speedo. And he's such a big bushy-bearded brute. 

Chris Evans for What's Your Number? and Captain America and Puncture - It was only a year or two ago that Chris Evans' publicist or manager or whoever said he was stepping away from taking off his shirt, wasn't it? I can't really remember, the ripples from the internet exploding are still coming backwards through time and clouding my perception.

But what a difference some sanity makes. Chris went all out in 2011, pumping up to hulking enormity for Captain America (more here), wearing stripper-suspenders and not much else in Puncture (more here and here), and then there was the behemoth that was his 95% unclothed performance in What's Your Number (more here and here and here). Good boy, Chris.

Eric Bana for Hanna - In another year Eric Bana coming out of the water in nothing but a soaking wet pair of long underwear would have blown away all the competition, but good god has this been a wonderfully crazy year. The top three beat him out by excess alone - if only Eric had elbowed that little blonde girl out of the way and spent the whole running time swimming around and sunning himself on rocks, then maybe he'd have topped the top three. (Mmmm that phrase.) See a bunch of caps here.

Henry Cavill for Immortals - I rewatched Immortals last week and felt exactly the same way I did about it in the theater - it's beyond beautiful and also deadly dull. It just takes itself far too seriously when it should be having more fun. But then I also felt that nothing else matters in the world except for the ridiculous ridiculous ridiculous body that Henry Cavill was swinging around the whole time. Just... ridiculous. (And the fact that Man of Steel has him keeping the body while growing out his chest hair on top of that means you can check off a spot in next year's list as reserved.) See more from Immortals here and here and here and here and here.

Dominic Cooper for The Devil's Double - Double the pleasure and double the Dom, this movie was the love letter to Dominic Cooper's most perfect ass slash everything above and below that most perfect ass that we've all been waiting for. It's so amazing it has to be on screen twice at the same time! Just imagine the lucky duck who did the special effects on this movie, spending hours of their day CG'ing four Dominic Cooper ass-cheeks into a single frame. That right there is the most fortunate person in the world. I hope they retired after this, living off the memories for the rest of their life. It's all downhill from there, lucky person! See extensive caps here.

And finally...

Michael Fassbender for Shame - Otherwise known as "Duh!" This pick was chiseled into stone tablets by a soothsayer several millennia ago. Not only did he give my favorite performance by a male actor this year but he exposed his emotions and the extensive length of his shaft. That's called honing your craft.

Is there any wonder he's the biggest thing to happen to Hollywood in years? When George Clooney christens the great ship Movie Star by swinging your penis against it like a bottle of champagne then you know you've arrived. See previous posts devoted to Fassy the man and Fassy the man-parts (calling his dick Fassy Jr. just does not work, for most obvious reasons) here and here. Bonus points to Michael for coming out swinging in X-Men: Muppet Babies, giving us a preview of coming attractions.

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poll by twiigs.com

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TGT11: 5 Off My Head - Tube Gratuities

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Because I haven't made enough work for myself today covering my favorite male nakedness in the movies (not to even mention the other four days of endless excess we've already seen), I felt I really had to give a shout-out to the efforts of their small-screen counterparts this year since TV has become a true hot-bed of beefcakery. I'm not going to list all I could because honestly inside my brain right now is the part where James Brown collapses on stage and they wrap the cape around him, sweat flopping onto the front row, seriously. But I had to give a little bit of love in this direction, because damn! Good stuff. So here's the first five I thought of.



Charlie Cox on Boardwalk Empire - He gets bonus points for making out with Thomas on Downton Abbey, but he doesn't really need the bonus because oh my god I love furry little Charlie so much. See more here and here.

Thomas Jane, Hung - He sent the show off with a bang, i.e. a reveal of a dick so large they couldn't even fit the whole thing in frame. See everything over here and here and here. And bless him for this.

Joe Manganiello, True Blood - All the menfolk give it their all on True Blood but I'm giving Joe the attention this year, because he gave us a good look at that were-rump and yet somehow that scene of him wiggling into jeans was even more eye-popping.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Man Vs. Wild - Hey I didn't get to include him otherwise (he kept it all on in Source Code, the bastard person) and a celebration of gratuity without Jake is no celebration at all. See a bunch here.

Jason Momoa, A Game of Thrones - Another cast full of hot pieces we appreciate (Hey there, lil' Alfie Allen) but Khal Drogo wins the crown this year. Let's hope that Richard Madden and Kit Harington and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau bring it this next season. See more here. 

(And here's where I admit I just realized I forgot to include Momoa's Conan the Barbarian on the list of movie gratuities this year - I told you there'd be ones I forgot! See some shots from that movie here and here. Twas super foolish of me to forget this one. He might have even placed in the top 20 had I remembered him. Sorry, Jason!)

Alright feel free to tell me in the comments about

all the TV dudes I've not named here, I know there are lots.

.

TGT11: 5 Off My Head - Tube Gratuities

.

Because I haven't made enough work for myself today covering my favorite male nakedness in the movies (not to even mention the other four days of endless excess we've already seen), I felt I really had to give a shout-out to the efforts of their small-screen counterparts this year since TV has become a true hot-bed of beefcakery. I'm not going to list all I could because honestly inside my brain right now is the part where James Brown collapses on stage and they wrap the cape around him, sweat flopping onto the front row, seriously. But I had to give a little bit of love in this direction, because damn! Good stuff. So here's the first five I thought of.



Charlie Cox on Boardwalk Empire - He gets bonus points for making out with Thomas on Downton Abbey, but he doesn't really need the bonus because oh my god I love furry little Charlie so much. See more here and here.

Thomas Jane, Hung - He sent the show off with a bang, i.e. a reveal of a dick so large they couldn't even fit the whole thing in frame. See everything over here and here and here. And bless him for this.

Joe Manganiello, True Blood - All the menfolk give it their all on True Blood but I'm giving Joe the attention this year, because he gave us a good look at that were-rump and yet somehow that scene of him wiggling into jeans was even more eye-popping.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Man Vs. Wild - Hey I didn't get to include him otherwise (he kept it all on in Source Code, the bastard person) and a celebration of gratuity without Jake is no celebration at all. See a bunch here.

Jason Momoa, A Game of Thrones - Another cast full of hot pieces we appreciate (Hey there, lil' Alfie Allen) but Khal Drogo wins the crown this year. Let's hope that Richard Madden and Kit Harington and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau bring it this next season. See more here. 

(And here's where I admit I just realized I forgot to include Momoa's Conan the Barbarian on the list of movie gratuities this year - I told you there'd be ones I forgot! See some shots from that movie here and here. Twas super foolish of me to forget this one. He might have even placed in the top 20 had I remembered him. Sorry, Jason!)

Alright feel free to tell me in the comments about

all the TV dudes I've not named here, I know there are lots.

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TGT11: The Great Gratuities of 2011 #20-11

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I'm keeping the intros brief because this part's notsomuch about words. Although there are words. But also pictures, do not fear. We just posted twelve runners-up a bit ago - now here's number twenty through number eleven of my favorite male gratuitousness of 2011.

Joel Edgerton, Warrior - See this is what I was talking about in my list of runners-up when I said that the rules governing this list only follow some kind of insane logic in my head - for a movie promising an endless parade of beefcake, Warrior was strangely shy, and I ought to punish it for that. Especially when say for instance Thomas Jane and Rob Lowe, who only made runner-up, both got totally starkers in their movie. But Joel Edgerton is just so sexy, y'all. I cannot deny him. Just think if the movie had been more of a giver with that ass-kicking physique he built up. Oh what could have been.

Ryan Reynolds for Green Lantern - And this is another one. The fact that they CG'd a suit onto a body like Ryan Reynolds has, thereby muddying up ur understanding of how much everything below his neck actually was his for entire stretches of the film, is unforgivable.

But then... he does wear tighty-whities for a second! And he does writhe around on that space-table in litte underpants that one time! And... it's Ryan Reynolds, man. I can't help myself. Cut from fucking marble, this one. (more here)

Julián Villagrán for Extraterrestrial - We just posted some caps from this earlier this week, which do the scene some justice but not enough, because it just goes on and on for a wonderfully long time, even filling the entire screen with his underpants-clad crotch for a moment. It's a keeper.

Daniel Radcliffe for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II - Gone are the days when I will feel weird for lusting after young Harry Potter. They left right around the time he flashed his treasure-thicket in those promotional Equus pics. That's he's become such a staunch gay rights advocate only makes it feel even better.

Ashton Kutcher for No Strings Attached and Justin Timberlake for Friends With Benefits - Consider these two a tie since they made the exact same movies and I hate them both about the exact same amount and yet I cannot deny that they did their jobs by showing us their sexy hateful asses, thereby filling me with a confused lustful rage. I couldn't sit through these movies, but I could certainly fast-forward and then pause through them. See more Ashton here, and more Justin here. Justin gets bonus points for that jean-humping scene in Bad Teacher.

Sebastian Schipper and Devid Striesow for Three - This one's more for Sebastien since I just find him completely adorable, but Striesow can come along for the ride. So to speak.

Their hook-up scenes in Tom Tykwer's film are very very hot, especially that first one in the locker-room where Schipper's completely taken by surprise... very happy surprise... by Striesow's sudden advances.

Chris Zylka for Shark Night - While his co-stars Chris Carmack and Dustin Milligan only got also-ran status for this movie (although the latter gets bonus points for making sure his sweatshirt was inexplicably pushed open around his nips during his kidnapping) Zylka shoved his way up the list by the power of one wonderfully winking butt-cheek. Also, he got eaten by a shark while riding a jet-ski and that's just so much love.

Daniel Craig for The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Cowboys and Aliens and Dream House (more here) - As much as I love DC's little black underpants in Dragon Tattoo, we seem to be judging him based on a curve at this point. It's the only explanation I can find for him only making it this high. We've been spoiled, I guess.

Tom Hardy for Warrior and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - You know what I said about Joel Edgerton barely making the list because Warrior was so criminally stingy with exploiting its prepped-for-exploitation menfolk? Same goes for Hardy's case therein, but then Tom went for extra credit by wearing a dress shirt and nothing else in Tinker and whoosh he shot ahead. As you'll see further on in the list, that's a look we seem to like a lot.
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And on top of that he made that short film where he went above and beyond the call of duty, if by "above and beyond the call of duty" I mean going full-frontal and wiggling his dick around and wrestling with another guy all at once. Which I guess in this instance I absolutely do mean it that way. Bless you, Tom Hardy, for making me mean something that way.

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poll by twiigs.com

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Coming up: THE TOP TEN!

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